I used to always treat the comments made by middle-aged people about their prime/youth/when they used to be “cool” with a mix of indifference, an almost superior kind of attitude like I was completely above it and something to the effect of rolling one’s eyes. But lately, at the ripe old age of 19, I think I’m feeling exactly this – what I am calling, for the purposes of this article, Middle-Age Syndrome (MAS for short).
In the space of 3 months, since starting uni, I have gained 5 kg and it doesn’t look like these bloody kilograms are looking at leaving any time soon. For this reason, I have almost resigned to the fact I’m never going to go back to pre-uni weight and now look back fondly at my photos when I was a nice, lean size and if I’m perfectly honest, when I was hottttt. I use the repeated t’s for effect, because now comparatively so, it rings truer than ever. The really sad thing about these photos is that they don’t extend further than 3 years ago.
Many of my friends don’t look like they’ll be suffering from MAS any time soon; it’s one of the only times I’m saddened to be the exception and not the rule. My friends are hotter, thinner, more toned and frankly more good-looking because of it, while my looks from my youth fade into oblivion. It has really got to be the most short-lived youth in history, I’ll bet. And yes, I hear you protesting. Looks shouldn’t matter, it’s what’s inside that counts. Yes, I hear you, most over-used cliché ever used. And yes, it’s right. In a perfect world. Which sadly doesn’t exist. (Not yet anyway).
Which brings me to another topic. After paying no attention to my appearance or how I dress for almost half of my life, I now realise the importance of looking good. Not only in how you dress, which will appear in photos so people are less likely to laugh condescendingly at you when they see your past loserish self, but how you present yourself every day. I was never good at maths or sums (the other day I almost got multiplying and adding mixed up!) but I have come to the new equation that LOOKING GOOD = CONFIDENCE, and CONFIDENCE is directly proportional to LOOKING GOOD (thus CONFIDENCE:LOOKING GOOD ratio is 1:1. Yes, yes, I heard you the first time). So yeah, if you have confidence without needing make-up or trendy clothes, good on you for that. But for the mere mortals out there, do what you have to do to feel confident, because it is then that your personality shines through.
So yeah, back to MAS. In my case, I really do think that my confidence would rocket if my weight returned to what it used to be. But for now, hopefully I don’t mellow in the sadness of recently acquiring MAS and turn to comfort eating to feel better.